[VIDEO] Mr. Regular Reviews the C8 Corvette Stingray and the Results are Hilarious

Get ready for the funniest review of the new mid-engine Corvette yet!

This YouTube video just posted today roars into town from the articulate and creative mind of Mr. Regular over at Regular Car Reviews, who finally found the time and energy and someone willing to let him climb behind the wheel of his 2020 Stingray.

While our knowledgeable readers won’t really learn anything new from his review, we couldn’t help but laugh numerous times at this “non-Corvette-guy’s” take on the new Corvette.

Don’t miss his view of the controversial controls that run down the center console of the car! “HVAC Happy Trail! HVAC Happy Trail! HVAC Happy Trail! Run your thumb down my HVAC Happy Trail! HVAC Happy Trail! HVAC Happy Trail!”

It may lose something in our written translation, but trust us, it’s worth watching just to hear that.

Lest you think he’s actually making fun of the new controls, here’s his follow-up evaluation: “Like a console controller, Xbox really, you wrap your finger around the HVAC Happy Trail and press the buttons with your thumb. Within one second, it’s intuitive. This is the best HVAC arrangement since the three dials,” he boasts.

Mr. Regular’s viewpoint seems to confirm Chevy’s goal with the C8: keep the old-timers like this writer happy while pulling in the young demographic to make the C9 and C10 and C11 possible.

“The Corvette is no longer for Boomers,” he points out. “See, I’ve heard the C8 described in person as ‘that’s a rich man’s car.’ And I love that phrase, I love it. It’s so exterior, so transparent – ‘That’s a rich man’s car.’ That means: ‘I want it but I’m not willing to work for it so I’ll pretend that the object of my desire is unworthy of my working-class values.’ See also, sour grapes.”

While the C7 was “good for GM,” the new C8, he says, is “good on a global scale.”

“Look at this arm padding, look where it tucks underneath the shifter switch cluster – no bunching, no creasing. I mean, if this was a BMW, Mercedes, Acura, or Lexus, we wouldn’t tolerate mistakes, but with GM, it’s like, eh, what’re ya gonna do? So when GM gets something really right, well, it’s like me getting 100 percent on an algebra test. It’s NATIONAL NEWS!”

It’s obvious to Mr. Regular that Chevy is “clearly gunning at Ferrari with this $70,000 lookalike.”

“Look at the back, the typeface spacing of the word CORVETTE is all new age, Brookstone, airport espresso bar. The front emblem is sharper and wider – it’s very McLaren-esque.”

In fact, Mr. Regular says you won’t be very “regular” driving a new C8. “While we were filming, bystanders came up and asked for pictures. While we were driving along, phones were pressed up against windows, and only 50 percent of the people knew this was a Corvette.”

Furthermore, he says, “people looked at me as I exited the vehicle. In their eyes, I was someone of exceptional consequence. In the C7, you’re just another Corvette owner: Do you want cheese on your burger now or just after I take it off the grill? But with the C8, it’s people going: Oh, so what do you do?”

The new Corvette, according to Mr. Regular, will force you to look the part, though.

“This is a car unfriendly to fat,” he quips. “Your peanut M&M, Coors, Banquet belly, Wendy’s thighs, and Kettle Chips arms are gonna get squished by the aggressive bolstering that only adjusts out so far, and if you have a gut, lorda mercy, it’s getting’ pushed up by the thick driver’s door to your left and the wide center console to the right. The C8 forces you to look your poor diet and lazy exercise attitude right in the face.”

Speaking of exercise, taking the car out for a spin really shows off the car’s power, though Mr. Regular seems more impressed with the gas mileage, noting that James the owner of the Corvette he’s borrowing claimed 37 miles per gallon for a long stretch across Montana and an average of 29 MPG for his whole trip from Bozeman, Montana to eastern Pennsylvania.

“The C8 accomplishes this through a combination of cylinder deactivation and slippery aerodynamics,” he points out. “The underside of the C8 is covered nose to tail. Maybe it’s illusory, but I feel the C8 cutting the air while I drive, like a fresh razor blade into an Amazon box.”

For Mr. Regular, the head-up display tachometer is “a bull’s-eye,” while “the paddle shifters are triggers for my laser repeaters. The drive mode selector calibrates the FTL. The combo mirror-monitor, well, that’s my rear sensor array. The built-in dash cam from the SD card slot, well, that’s my in-flight recorder.”

Every drive in a C8, he says, “is a mission into the slipstream and I believe that these science-fiction things are real because 2020 reality is subjective and the C8 embraces this. Christ, it’s good!”

Indeed, the new Stingray is “more or less” everything you’d expect of a mid-engine Corvette.

“On the one hand, this is a car that wants you to embrace your role in the hamster wheel of excessive consumption,” he says, “because this thing is loaded with features you might never even use, whether it’s the performance traction management settings for the freaking SD card slot in the glove box to record performance data or the Z model that allows you to customize engine, transmission, steering, and suspension settings and even the engine sound. It’s all there, and it’s all nice to have. But odds are a lot of features will remain as untouched as the vegetable peeler your mom got you for the housewarming of your first apartment.”

The C8, he jokes, “is basically capitalism, the car. Let’s innovate and accentuate these features in the name of competition, you know what I mean. And so you’re encouraged to proudly shed the pliant skin of fiscal modesty and dive headlong into the Sarlacc maw of credit-ruining spending habits in the name of doing your part as the leg of this Voltron structure called the economy. But who cares? The feeling of acceleration is that of the coffee finally doing its job – the handling is confident, like village-raised children.”

Owner James is becoming used to all the stares and the questions about what he describes as “basically a poor man’s Ferrari that actually performs like one.”

“And I can see that argument,” Mr. Regular says. “The C8 drives with the grace of a swimmer through calm water, that slight bit of resistance giving way to furious consistent forward motion. Just the act of merging liquefies the bowels. I was doing the speed limit, and it was like my entire life was flashing before my eyes. This thing is preposterous the way it goes, the way it wants to.”

Long story short, the C8 is “a rocket launcher that can hurl itself like a cannonball from an undead pirate’s ship, or cruise like the most ubiquitous daily you’ve ever owned,” he says. “It’s almost like trying virtual reality for the first time, that level of immersion, that feeling of depth that you didn’t yet know we had the technology to achieve, and then it’ll record your drive and the audio in the cabin so you can share it with your friends like it’s a PlayStation 4.”

The marketers at Chevy no doubt will love Mr. Regular’s next comment: “This is a car for car YouTubers. Let me repeat, this is a car for car YouTubers because young people like the YouTubes, and why not make it easier for people to make videos about your car in your car?

The C8, Mr. Regular concludes, “is more or less what I expected the future to be like as a kid … actually it’s closer to what I expect that being Batman would be like, getting poured into a seat that embraces you and brings the wheel to your chest and practically welcomes you with all-encompassing technology. “It’s real life, but it feels like a video programmer’s idea of it. Hell, if you told me this thing turned into a plane after clearing three specific Imperial bases, I’d believe you!”

To sum it all up, Mr. Regular admits he’s never been a big Corvette guy.

“But for me personally,” he says, “this is my favorite car I’ve yet driven on RCR. It’s an absolute blast, which is not to say it’s perfect – no car is – but this is a comprehensive experience and beyond my expectations. But then again, the shortest route to satisfaction is through modest expectations.”

Source:
Regular Car Reviews / YouTube

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